The Aura of Passion

 

“When sex is used to fulfill needs, its leads to addiction. When sex comes from playfulness, the result is ecstasy.” -DC   

 

It’s Saint Tropez, the Bonelli couple’s annual French getaway. And there’s something in the air tonight, a taint of enchantment.  Seated at the rear patio of their favorite restaurant Le Papillion the moon appears perched just outside. The Mrs. is captivating in her rebellious black cocktail dress fitted unforgivingly just right. And she knows it. Past the romance phase, they still keep it live. Hell hubby was peeking while she was getting beautified. Spell bound poised in his Tom Ford suit Mike lends himself forward into the moment’s trance. A spry idea erupts. So why wait? He thinks. Why not an appetizer right now? Like the dinner wine about, a precursor to the exquisite course that awaits. Judging by the gleam in her eyes she’s primed for mischief too, he affirms!

Mr. passion disappears ‘neath the tablecloth to give wifey’s pink a French kiss. Knelt incognito he separates knee from knee revealing pouting lips jeering back at him. Surprise! someone neglected to put on panties. A quick head rush intensifies the thrill. A couple of slithering tongue pats splits the soft folds as he introduces his warm chops to her lotus flower. Making sweet music only she can hear. A firm bind to her flower in suction sends Lisa’s eyes to the rear of her cerebellum. Reaching out she taps his head to halt the interlude at initial drool, too late, a couple of quick skeets of honey injections deep into Hubby’s throat says I Love You. Popping back up before any notices his expression pronouncing exhilaration. They laugh it off. Six minutes can feel like eternity when you’re misbehaving.

You wanna know a lil secret about Lust? Like other sentiments the action can precede the emotion. Huh? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose? Isn’t a passionate union primal-ly automated in our DNA. On a basic level maybe. Not on this level. Super Duper Jupiter love is no parts standard. Relationship expert Stephen Covey informs, “Relationships are like bank accounts” make ample deposits for ample withdrawals. Givers know how to keep the thirst incessant by making steady installments that pays dividends later. Fulfilling because what makes their partner happy makes them happy. “Kissing transfers testosterone into your partner.” Adina Rivers. Constant cariños. Effortless fuel. Who needs fuel you ask?

Check this out, “…as Dr. Harry Fisch, a sexual health doctor and author of The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grownups, explains, 45 percent of men are finished within two minutes. Meanwhile, the average sex session lasts 7.3 minutes.”

That’s data a couple like them would scoff at. See they keep the menu cause for hearty appetite. Seduction is the game. A win/win scenario. Covey always recited, “The little things are the big things.” The sexual aspect of it is no different. Be Quick to Give! A sexual relationship based not in self-gratification like many relationships these days, I’m talking about a giver’s paradise everything you put out comes right back to you. A love based in a deep hunger to satisfy! A philosophy at the core of every happy covenant. Meet each other’s needs.

♪…In a dress with her hair tied up Or I can be a freak in the sheets In the room with her hands tied up… It’s whatever you want ♪ – Dej Loaf

Mike and Lisa’s relationship prosperity isn’t random. A long time ago these two made a pact. Never to forget the Basics. He sat her down one day and spoke of how his father taught him one thing as youth, Half measures avail nothing. He told her “For as long as you are willing, want you to know I’m willing to” …that if she was willing to go ALL IN then he was ready. They’ve been going ALL IN ever since.

Two words; Connection Compels. Watching a happy couple, you can spot it in the details, a touch here, a kiss there, a compliment here, a look there. “Emotional connection, mutual trust and a sense of safety [stability] within the relationship can basically be thought of as a prerequisite to the fulfillment of your sexual desires.” -Bernardo Mendez

That, and an open mind does wonders. “Many couples fall into the trap of sexual monotony over time…Yet widening the range of expressiveness can be a doorway to the deepest spiritual connection between two human and that often involves stepping a bit outside the safety zone (in a variety of ways).” – 5 Tips to deepen your connection with your partner’ by Bernardo Mendez. “♪ know I kept it sexy, know I kept it fun ♪” – Queen B. No Ying yang balance struggle. No power trips. Mutual respect and trust. “Giving opens the way for receiving.” -Florence Scovel. If a spectacular sexual relationship is the icing on the cake, then understanding each other is the cake. A giver-to-giver dynamic creates a perfect environment for karma actualization, perpetual flow and screaming out perpetual OOH’s.   

…returning to our apologue;

Rounding out a sublime evening of dancing and vibing the Bonelli’s advance to their Napoleon suite. The sleeping quarters, where for many couples the night ends, but for a libido-abundant few is where the night is just beginning. Laying back on the bed for a quick breather, hubby feels the warm caress of playful hands unbuckle his belt. Wifey begins to orally make love to his manhood like never before. Lisa’s alter-ego is a thing of brilliance. His whole body peaking to a clinch. Just then Mike with a majestic flip positions her former Jr. national gymnastics champion arse sky high. Longer and longer strokes develops a rhythm. Hands gripped tight on her hips he commences to drive deep. The Mrs. can hardly contain herself from climaxing.  But she does, she aims to enjoy every minute. His tool becoming more and more animated with each thrust Lisa knows it’s going to be a long night.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 940 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 16 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

When there is no mental stimulation, there is no sexual stimulation- Zara Barrie

He hears the car door shut, the cluck of heels, then keys in the door. Wifey’s home with a greedy blazon look in her eyes. It’s time to play! Tossing her things to the console she leaps at him full straddle! The momentum pinning him to the floor. She slides her lace Vickie’s to the side and slips him inside her. It’s moist and pleasantly ignited. Clinching her thighs she pulls him in strong. And right there proceeds to give him the ride of his life. With each gyrated movement he feels the streaming tickle of her G-spot. He picks her up colliding her mildly against the wall, fingernails in his back he thrusts deep to a wet finish. She kisses I love you as they both explode.

Exquisite. Sounds like a hot new couple still infatuated doesn’t it? But nope they’ve been together for many years, had the ‘goods’ thousands of times. So why all the theatrics? That’s just how they roll. Mastered the art of sexting and they use it from time to time. You see, the plot for this lil episode started formulating 7 hours earlier, with his text.

Wait, you said art to Sexting? Yep ….Really now. I’ll enlighten you. Not to be confused with crudely sending ‘nudes’ pics. No dic pics. Eww! We can do a lot better than that to heat up the oven. As a matter of fact it’s not about sending visuals of any kind. The “Art” is in having your partner paint the picture in their OWN mind. With your help of course, just using words. A dialogue dance of sorts. And when done right few things can inspire like it!

Sexting is premium fuel for high octane couples. The adventurous type. If your engine can’t handle the rpms, then don’t rev it up.

I wise man once said ‘creativity is intelligence having fun.’ That’s just it, sexting is the Thrill of the imagination. Until the mid 1970’s it was believed women didn’t have sexual fantasies. Obviously they wrong. “Let the records show that women enjoy sex just as much as men…If you’ve ever had a sexy thought pop into your head that flushed your cheeks and made you shift in your seat, know that it probably wasn’t that crazy at all. Always kinky and sometimes uncontrollable, sexual fantasies are far more common than you think.” –Alexia LaFata

“You two are playful, you’re too playful. You always playing. What other couples do you never worrying. Sending sexually charged words of passion taunting your partner’s enthusiasm. How bad you want it?”

“Get weird with her in the bedroom…Indulge her fantasies, and she’ll indulge yours. If you can get freaky in the sheets, it shows how much confidence you have in each other.”  -Gigi Engle, 24 Simple, Quirky Things A Guy Can Do To Make His Girl Completely Melt, Elite Daily. Sexting is a fine opportunity to do just that, get weird, naughtily weird. If timid to get graphic try first using allegories or symbols, sort of code that only you two understand. The beauty of technology it transcends space and time. If separated by distance, a much need bonding session can happen via text with a few sincere words. Expose your vulnerability. Confess your longing.

It doesn’t hurt to try something new;

Him: Damn I miss u!

Her: I know me too!

Him: You know what I was thinking about the other day?

Her: what?

Him: That time you did that thing in your sister’s mini van

Her: mmm. You liked that did you?

Him: oh yes!

Her: I could tell you did.

Him: hehe. Babe youre a lil freak!

Her: Are you complaing?

Him: Noooooo! I luv it

Her: you want me to do it again later

Him: Yaasss!!!

Her What are you going to do for me? Or should I say to me. Lol

Him: AHH don’t worry! I got something special planned for you. 😉

Her: Can’t wait

Him: babe you’re freaky! lol

Her: Yea you love my freaky ass!

It’s a 21st century foreplay platform. It’s the beginning that leads to the end. The most underrated aspect of our sexual dynamics I think. We should take heed; “We want to be seduced… Stimulating the mind stimulates our sexuality with a fiercer, longer-lasting intensity…Give us a subtle taste of your mystical sexual prowess and then viciously pull away…we love to be tortured.” –Zara Barrie

Who wouldn’t want to supercharge the romance? Adding a component for those who struggle with all-too-brief physical performances. Putting the power at your fingertips for  a longer and deeper sexual experience with your mate. Don’t be believe it? “At Rutgers University, researchers interested in the connection between the brain and sex placed her in an MRI machine…They found the parts of the brain that are most active during orgasm lit up when she climaxed…there is actual evidence that the brain alone can produce an orgasm without physical stimulation.” –John Haltiwanger, ‘Having an orgasm has more to do with your brain than your body’, EliteDaily.com

Step through the doors of your private fantasy world.

As a matter of fact it’s not about sending visual aids of any kind. The “Art” is in having your partner paint the picture in their OWN mind. A live interactive movie and you’re the star. You’re the writer/director. Add twists & turns, no set path no boundaries just flow with it. See where it takes you. How creative can you get? The more descriptive the better. Get them to FEEL every move every touch as if you are right in front of them. Phase out of everything else. Zone into your words zone into your escalation.

Your objective construct the atmosphere for this session. Not just in your mind but in your partners. Get what’s in your head into theirs. Get them in full participation. Then get what’s in their head into yours. Its quite fun! You can build a fantasy together or you could be reliving something spectacular you two have already done. Make it a role play exercise if you dare, via text.

You know you’ve got it right when your heart is thumping as you text. They will feel it.

With lead in questions and statements you begin to set the mood. ….I miss you…what are you wearing…I need you…how was your day?…what happened?. You want them relaxed and if they’re a newbie, off guard. Like a set up, a sales pitch, ABC (always be closing) from the beginning you are already smoothly maneuvering your text-versation for the end result, a fire lit under that a#*! If you do it right they won’t even see it coming and if they do they won’t mind. Why? Because its quite fun! As the temp builds you begin to explore more.

5 Easy Steps

1. Wet the pallete with lead in questions- Simpler questions inquisitive questions that engage. No rush. No rush, only as fast as your partner chooses. One step back two steps forward if need be.

2. Share your visions- Start as expressing your intimate thoughts in a candid non-ulterior manner. It’s you being you. Who can judge you for being honest?

3. Listen to the replies- Be a Great listener. Utilize their replies as you start to explore what’s in their vision. Are you two on the same page, are they following you or are they remaining coy.

4. Nurture the replies- Encourage your mate. Let em know you’re enjoying their participation. Urge them on! Now joining their vision with input of your own increasing naughty intent, a little more deviant, sink your teeth in. Back and forth you’re rallying now!

5. Navigate the episode- Bring it on home. Guide the engagement to a pinnacle. Imagination at its heights. Don’t hold back. Non judgement here. Ultimate comfort with your confidant. Gratification centered revelations.

Add sexting to your bag of goodies. Whenever the sexual tension needs a lil jumpstart. Bam! You don’t even have to be in a frisky mood when you start. Another wise man once said ‘love the action can precede love the emotion.’ It’s the same with intimate appetite. By the end of a [naughty] texting session you will be good and ready!

Consider it your own personal can of lighter fluid. You see we expect things like love, passion, the joy to automatically replenish itself, that why when they run out we are confused. But it takes work you have to manually refill, like a bank account you cant keep withdrawing without periodically making deposits. Sexting is passion deposits!

Master it. Practice it. Make sure it’s potent. You know you’ve got it right when your heart is thumping as you text. They will feel it.

Sexting is mental foreplay. Releasing brain chemicals with the power to trigger hormones. Allowing naughty texts to bounce around your medulla oblongata can start a fire that needs to be put out, just like our couple in the intro. An increased high rate during lunch. Hot flashes in the middle of a meeting. So let it seep in. “One might say the orgasm both begins and ends in the brain.” –John Haltiwanger.

 

 

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” –Buddha

You awake in the morning and then it hits you. Last night you broke up with the love of your life. No do overs, it was the real thing. Instantly you feel sick to your stomach, your head aches, your whole body aches. All of the structure and backbone you’ve enjoyed for the last past years. Gone. All of the comfort and peace of mind when things were good, gone. You feel empty and weak. No energy, no desire to do anything. You just want to be left alone.

Unfortunately breakups are a very normal part of life and a daily occurrence around the globe. The truth is no matter how many times you been through it, It’s always a struggle.

For those trying to mend a broken heart I have 3 words for you. New New New. But before we get to that, the first step is to Allow Allow Allow.

-Allow yourself to cry and feel hurt. Let it out. If you want to cry and be alone, cry and be alone. If you want to cry on someone’s shoulder, then cry on someone’s shoulder.

-Allow yourself to be honest about the things you feel. Its one of the first steps in the healing process. Your heart and mind know it’s been rocked, so pretending the pain is not there by bottling it up is futile. Your mind will naturally wanders back onto the past. Don’t become frustrated, just don’t feed into them. One zen meditation teacher puts it,

“First of all, do not fight with your thoughts, do not try to stop them or do something to influence them, for to stop your thoughts you will use other thoughts. Thoughts come and go like clouds in the sky. If you do not pay attention to them, they are gradually depleted and the mind becomes pure. –Myong Gong Sunim, Zen, Path to Oneself

-Allow yourself to understand that these things take time, sometimes more time than others. This is a process and will need time to run its course.

-Resist the urge to put up a façade to mask the pain by grabbing the first girl or guy that comes your way just so you don’t look alone. This could make enduring it worst, prolonging it. Place your bulk of focus on real inner peace obtained by no band-aid.

-Resist the temptation for self-pity saying why me. Don’t wallow in a place of negativity and weakness.

-Resist the urge to give in to your ego. I know it felt good being with such a “__” person. You fill in the blank. And on top of everything else our ego is hurt and we know it. But more often than not what you’re yearning after was an ‘idea’ of something.

“You don’t miss the person you were with, you miss the person you were when you were with him or her. People are very egocentric. It’s our nature…We don’t remember the person we once loved because it isn’t possible. We never directly interact with people; we interact with our interpretations of them. And our interpretations are very malleable. We reach back and make changes to the way we understand people and things, as well as how we feel about them. “ –Paul Hudson, Elite Daily, You Don’t Miss The Person, You Miss The Idea of That Person

-Do Feel Empowered. Feel strong. Feel capable. Feel in charge of your life.
-Do Stay In The Moment. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. You don’t have to ponder the whole surmountable task to recovery. Get through tough days without breaking down by committing yourself to the task at hand.
-Do Stay Full of Faith. Lean on your friends or support group that you can confide in. They won’t allow you to go backwards.

–New Goals. It’s a perfect time to Re-Up. Back to the lab. Re-Focus. Immerse yourself into new initiatives. Further your career; try new hobbies you’ve always flirted with. Use this time to work on yourself. ‘A better you will attract a better mate’. A cliché, but I firmly believe in this one.

–New Friends. Meet new people whom you find interesting. Expand your horizons. Break down old paradigms. It needn’t be romantic if you’re not ready. Strengthen relations with family and friends that had weakened.

–New Environments/ Adventures. Not in attempt to run away from issues. But in effort of making your mind anew. Visit out of town friends. Take a vacation. Join a fitness club. New stimulus is healthy.

Since the healing has to primarily come from the inside. Healing your spirit is most important. Prayer and meditation is powerful. Nothing is more powerful. It you don’t have a regular routine, this is an opportune time. Start a regiment. Someone once said sometimes the best way to help yourself when you can’t, is to help others. A great way to immediately lift your spirits and work up some pretty good karma too!

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that some people aren’t special and hard to replace. I won’t say that, because I know better. But I will tell you where your confidence should be. You have to believe no matter how special that person was, that you can find another just as special. And if not, find a place where you can be fine with that also. We don’t have to compare suitors to ‘the one’ or past loves. Each person has their own gifts and talents and enrichments to bring to your life. Enjoy them for what they are.

Listen, your book is not over so turn the page. Even after being broken in two by the love of your life. The world is still a very amazing place. Faith Forward.

Inspired Music

Sade- The Moon and The Sky

Jagged Edge-Goodbye

Rascal Flatts- What Hurts The Most

Linkin Park- Shadow of the Day

Fucking 101

“Sex matters. Then you die.”

There’s no room to mince words with this one. I’m obligated to give it to you straight, hard and fast. So listen up, better yet pucker up. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while now. This is that I got to be frank with you, can’t be politically correct cause you might mistaken flow. This is that you should dwell on it for a minute because I’m not just saying this to be provocative flow. This is that we’re all grown folks, we’re like family, if its too strong for you sit at the kids table at thanksgiving flow.

Enough jabbering lets get to it.

Those who have read some of my blogs know this is nothing new to us. We’ve talked about how relationship sex can fall into a rut and become lack luster in “What is Passion?” We discussed the whole mentality that births great sex sessions in entries like “Sex Brain”. So recently when I came across a well written very pointient article from online web mag, ‘Elite Daily’, I was charmed.  While I consumed the paragraphs, some sentences began to resonate in my spirit and helped me frame up an issue,

It read;

“According to Jennifer Abbasi of Live Science, while men tend to maintain a constant passion for sex, women lose interest over time…She continued to add that another component that factors into a decrease of sexual desire is the transition from passionate love to compassionate love, which typically comes with committed relationships and time.”  – , ‘The Science Behind Why It’s So Hard To Sleep With The Same Person Forever’, Dan Scotti

So here’s where I come in. This time we will sum it up with 5 Actions that will ensure you are performing up to par.  Sum up what? Fucking. Not compassionate sex. Not that overly sensitive, emotional reassuring blah blah blah, that over time decreases your mate’s arousal and interest. We put it out there, lay it on the line, that nasty, freaky stimulating, yeah we’re human but we’re also part animal, straight Fucking. A genre of sex that every couple should periodically pull out of their repertoire. See the problem with alot of relationship articles, advice, and bedroom suggestions is they lack the gritty, up in your face, making you feel uncomfortable, profoundness needed. They don’t pack a punch! Probably why you can smell the bs from a mile away. They over-articulate everything cookie cutter, Hollywood movie style perfect plot perfect ending. Perfectly predictable! Pshh, forget that. That’s not how it is in real life. In real life there’s all kinds of angles on everything, no pun intended. Trust me, nobody’s going to tell you the truth like I’m going to tell you the truth!

First lets set precedent, Some of yall have big mouths. That’s right talk too much about your personal relationships and households to people who have no right of being privy to that information. What you do with your significant other in your sex life IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS. I mean however you bond, what you do to make it work is between you and them. Not between you and your mother, your pastor, your friends, your coworkers. Quite frankly it’s none of their business. That’s for the record. Now, Welcome to FUCKING 101.

Don’t convolute Quality Time– Leave all that other shit outside. Whatever obstacles or challenges you two may be going through. It’s time out on that shit. Don’t come in the lover’s quarters with an attitude, salty because you didn’t get your way about something. Scrr, wait back up… that is unless it makes the sex better. Some of you sex deviates like fighting for the build up. Lol. Back to the topic. This isn’t time for multitasking, unless it’s with your hands. We don’t need last week’s resentments and other issues convoluting things and fucking up this good sex. This is, lustful, adrenalizing, orgasmic gratification. Act like for the moment the outside world doesn’t exist. Only wet hungry kitty and hard enthusiastic dick.

…and yes that’s exactly what I would call it. Whomever told you sex is not that important in a relationship lied to you, stop listening to them. Learn to view Fucking as quality time and see if you don’t appreciate the hell out of your lover.

Let them Take it (whenever wherever whatever)- Accommodate your other half as much as you can. In the bathroom at your sister’s house, in the car, on the beach, in the elevator, in the woods on that camping trip, on that flight, at the office, in the backyard at the boring dinner social. (yeah I know it sounds juvenile, but I bet your love life wont be mundane). The beautiful thing about fucking is you don’t have to plan it out, it can just happen when it wants to happen. So naughty so exhilarating. Zone in, focus. Take it.

Be a Giver– “Arousing you, arouses me” –Lustful Poet. Aim to please. Let me say that again, you might have missed it. You aim to please! Be your partner’s best kept secret. Your over generosity won’t go unappreciated. Inside of all you is a sex god/ sex goddess. Act like you know that and fuckin unleash it. If you already love it. Then maintain, don’t allow your fulfilling sex life to be sex-shamed.

Talk Dirty– Practice practice practice. It makes perfect. Tell them straight up what the fuck you want done to you. Vocalize your desires with your partner. Nothing gets your juices flowing like some good dirty talk dialogue. Expletives can help get your point across. Use the sex brain of your alter-ego. When you’re on the receiving in, cheer them on, tell them how good it feels. If you’re not good at it. Practice. Keep doing it. And it’s not all about what you say, It’s more how you say it. Say it emphatically! “Uuuu baby!” “Fuck me!”

Be your lover’s personal Porn Star-You are the king or queen of this castle, don’t be the reason for it being invaded by intruders cause you didn’t do all that you could. THIS IS YOUR DOMAIN. Show them you are a committed motivated object of desire. Your partners sexual needs is your responsibility, with pleasure! Do the extra’s. If you view it more as an obligation than a privilege then you’ve got bigger issues than not fucking. Otherwise, Get inside their brain. Know all of their deepest darkest secrets and desires. Don’t be afraid to explore, keeping an open mind is a must. Appease, appease, appease, if its thigh high’s and garters, Do it. If it’s Face down ass up. Do it. If she wants a foot massage, Do it. If it’s tantalizing foreplay, do it. Romantic dinner do it, Dancing, Do it. If it’s oral sex, Do it well. Their favorite spots, find it and Work it.Whatever the job calls for. Live out your fantasies with your mate. Smart partners do!

Mix it up like a table of delectable goodies. A good ol fashioned fucking session every now and then is a requirement. It should be craved. And now my conscience is clear because I’ve told you. Thank you for signing up for Fucking 101, class dismissed.

Inspired songs

Freek N’ You- Jodeci

Be my little freak- Usher

PDA- John Legend

Big smile flirty eyes as we exchange names

Hella infatuated it always starts the same

Two seasoned veterans executing their best game

Good Morning text got us ready for what the day brings

A new glow about us and a pep in our step

Sending selfies whenever dressed up fresh

Stroking our ego’s so well is probably how we fell

Every other line of our convo’s ending in Lol’s

Passion that hot every time we made love,

Bed sheets turned tsunami cus we fit like a glove

From her pretty ass eyes I could see my unborn

Asking myself could this really be the one

It was the best of times even chilling taking a toke

Making you laugh at every one of my jokes

Momentum on our side, it was almost reality

Remember that night buzzing, you said you couldn’t be without me

And you never knew anyone that was this damn freaky

How I talk with my eyes talk with my hands had every part on your body peaking

Lovers possessing battered hearts in need of a tutor

So we discussed everything except how to face the future

I guess somewhere along the way you must’ve gotten bored

Or mistook my kindness for weakness and decided to explore

You tried running some slick game isht until you got caught,

You didn’t apologize you just said it’s my fault

I know sometimes I had trouble voicing my feelings

And could tell by your reaction you didn’t know how to love either

Intuition told us rush the thrill ‘fore the flame died

Perhaps this Cali life has us too preoccupied

New job new car new damn high

Same song different day we just don’t learn

Pride let’s a beautiful thing crash and burn

We shrug accountability chalk it up to the game

Six months from now won’t even remember names

No matter how many times it happens, it always seems to hurt

Hopefully that means we’re not complete jerks

Would’ve once laid down my life saving you from danger

Now you’re treatin me like a muthaffkn stranger

Temporarily in a daze as I contemplate our end

I looked up from my drink, now you’re hugging on my friend.

I know the most beautiful queen on planet earth

But don’t search for her tiara it’s buried under dirt

She once heralded a smile that could illuminate through passes

And a blanket of compassion she would cover the masses

Her beauty one of the greatest stories ever told

But now pride’s overtaken she’s the royalist of assh*les

A sort of Maleficent in the flesh

she never passed that last test

One too many liars laid upon her breast

Replaced her smile with a scowl and condescending airs

A chip on her shoulder touching no one dares

Too overwhelmed and too uncertain

She buried the last feelings and settled for the hurting

Cus it too as she discovered made her feel alive

As she relished in the power and believed in the lie

That she told herself it was better this way

No more broken promises no one to make her stay

I know I know she was given this world she didn’t make it

Working with what was left after everything were taken

She now lives life with goals mostly vain

Vowed to never let a man lead again

Some admire hire her freedom and the way she plays the game

But they better be careful cus it’s rooted in pain

Even though deep in her heart she knows better

she won’t start to feel until she reads my love letter

I dare not challenge her at her game I’d lose for certainty

The best I can hope is she sees the friend in me

Wishing the best for her majesty with no ill will

Chipping away at the iceberg for a heartbeat to feel

Because I too have a gift and really want to use it

To bring the queen back to glory if she so chooses

Be her protector from falsehoods and any kind of harm

I believe I can be her good luck charm

Remind her sometimes its okay to slow it down

Just trust it all and put back on your crown

She’s not too far gone I can only pray,

A true king can help re-lighten her way

I hope she reads my love letter and starts to care

Or at least strike a chord and she becomes aware,

The gift she has never went anywhere

And can return any minute if she so dare

There’s no telling how this will end

Still Ill reach out to her just the same

Cus this lady here’s worth more than any gain

I’ll risk my life I believe in her that much

I see a vision of me embraced in her love

But for the moment the past pains have taken their toll

And she no longer frets them, cus she is the Assh*le

“Some women are lost in the fire; some women are built from it.” -Michelle K.

“Confidence is owning your own authentic truth.” -G. Bernstein

“I think it’s quite possible we were born for each other.” – Diego Rivera, Frida Kahlo

A lively Friday evening in So Cal. Its date night, great restaurant, exquisite eats, enticing vibe. As dinner settles the lights dim, chatter quiets, a drum riff drops and a spotlight emits revealing the silhouette of a perfect frame. She is poised in a pose struck so hard flamingos would be jealous. Her long brunette waves falling ever so gracefully down her pronounced back. She commences slowly with a confident sexy ease.

No welcoming smile from this diva, she maintains a beaming gaze with a seductive sparkle in her eyes. Leather corset hugging her curves like a sports car. She parades down the cat walk swaying hips hard from side to side at each bass drop of the music. Sleek hosiery kissing her smooth toned thighs feature her diamond-shaped calves. Core stamina exemplified in each artistic maneuver on the center pole. A surplus of passion emerges from her pores to infiltrate the circulating air. She bears an egocentric charisma that birth from erotic prowess. We marvel at this well practiced burlesque dancer. For the moment she is our goddess in the art of seduction captivating the whole audience! Advantage, hers.

Yet it depends on who you ask. Some would quicker condemn it as filth and lewd conduct than art. The viewpoints you’ll get are all across the board. Some from aware women concerned with the lustful and objectified way in which women are portrayed. And other’s frustrated on a personal level with daily challenges she receives from the behavior of young men influenced by the perpetuation of a chauvinist mentality.

Is a ‘sex sells’ capitalistic culture shattering their faith in humanity? An agenda of exploiting young women’s sex appeal is certainly not restoring it. Many are disheartened by the lack of defenders of female’s image. Some to the point of being quite disillusioned. One young professional in her online blog expressed her feelings:

“When was the last time you heard a man describe a woman with an adjective that isn’t dripping in sexual innuendos and defaming premises? When was the last time you heard a man describe a woman by something that compliments her soul and her inherent elegance? When was the last time you heard a man describe a woman as beautiful?” –Lauren Martin, ‘The Actual difference between women who are hot and who are beautiful’

I get it I get it. It’s overdue for men to collectively reflect on how we are contributing to the debasement of women. We live in a beauty-obsessed culture where women are condescendingly expected to ‘know their place’. Where is the emphasis placed on what really makes a woman attractive? Why can you sooner find a unicorn than a gentleman? It reminds me of the adage, “We live in a world where people know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.” These are manifestations of a skewed value system. Men toying with women’s feelings for sport like it’s a game. Human insecurities at their worst.

I’ll say this, A real man knows a woman’s worth. He’s not afraid to pay tribute to your abilities and talents. You’re his Queen. His Rock. You inherently are affection, intelligence, strength, charm, and passion culminated in one. Looks alone will never make a woman truly beautiful. Your internal essence is what makes you glow.

And while a Representative voice is beneficial inversely a dictating proponent could spell turmoil. It’s a negative when you see ‘organizations’ supposedly acting in your best interest who mostly seek to bully and shame you into fitting their narrow mold of some ideal. I think it’s a mistake to assume that all humans are robotically the same. When we know that we are all multi-faceted, all unique in many ways. What if who you really are, was frowned upon without validity solely because of someone else’ preference? What if the agenda was to control you by routinely discrediting your value, basing it on qualities you don’t possess and holding you to some impossible standard?

 

“We are constantly made to feel that we should be prettier, thinner, sexier, more successful, make more money, be better moms, better wives, better lovers, et cetera…the subtext is clear: We should feel bad because we have fallen short in so many ways from some imagined ideal–we have tummies, not abs; we are undesirable because we don’t always feel like sex kittens (or because we do); we are incompetent because we don’t have a color-coded filing system for our recipes or papers; we are not trying hard enough because we are not a senior vice president or on a corporate board or in a corner office. Even the very existence of the phrase “having it all,” no matter how it’s debated, is, in effect, implying that we’re somehow not measuring up.” –Arianna Huffington, Thrive

The pitfall is getting lost in the whirlwind, losing your center to a perfection syndrome. Don’t let the battle for women’s honor become a stumbling block for developing a beautiful passionate relationship with the love of your life.

 

When the very first human couple gazed upon each other it was love at first sight. She was the greatest creation Adam had yet beheld. The instant fascination, admiration, infatuation for Eve moved him to write the first poem ever. He said “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” He was to protect her, provide for her, love her, and be a lead for her. And though women don’t necessarily need to rely on anyone. Man’s job hasn’t changed.

And neither has his adoration for women.

 

Ladies don’t demand that men fake the funk. Civilized manners, yes, Insincere, no. One of my concerns in hearing these women’s justified exasperations is that, in correction we go so far pushing beauty, sex, and intimacy to the other extreme that we make it obscure and taboo. To do this would be a disservice, not to mention making us hypocritical of something that was meant to be beautiful.

Regardless of the prevalent role that society tries to shape you in, you will know yourself, know your worth. There is nothing more alluring than a confident, strong-minded, empathetic, humble person. Nothing. There is no shame in owning your sexuality. Own it.

Men demonstrating respect for his better half is a key element. And I believe at the heart of the matter, it’s what we are really talking about. It’s not about how much or how little he drools over your aesthetics. But that he treats you with the respect and appreciation you deserve and need, in public and in private. If I’m infatuated with your lady lumps, it doesn’t mean I’m incapable of loving you. It doesn’t mean I’m blinded from valuing your character. It doesn’t mean I love you improperly, It doesn’t mean I love you more. It just means ‘I love all of you.’

 

The Misogynist’ Proposal

Came across a billboard the other day says I objectify you my dear

But I don’t think they know how I feel about you my dear

You’ve the cutest little feet I’ve ever seen

Your sense of style impeccable and your walk is mean

It a be a lie if I said it wasn’t your physique I first noticed

But you were the first to ever bring me to a place of purpose.

Dream state when I’m with you on a constant high

The last touch I want to feel before I die

That elated heartbeat you feel as you lay on my chest

Should let you know of anything you ask I’ll confess

Last week we had a day which seemed like a stress test

So we spent the whole night reversing its affects

When your honey pot deluges and I start to release

That’s when I know our soul’s are at peace

Two things I love the sound of my name off your lips

And lazy days together spent caressing your hips

A beautiful mind you’re my coach when I’m off my game,

Just the right words to put the picture in a new frame

Like a wild horse my love comes of the passionate kind

As I ravish you in the moonlight you never seem to mind

You had me out the gate I was anxious from the start

But I fell in love when I saw the size of your big heart

They say for a shallow man loyalty is too tall of a task

Just don’t lose that spark in your eyes is all that I ask

Mesmerized by our connection, when we come around they perk up and listen

But what we do behind close doors is only our business

I give my oath and my honor if you tell me you can stand

These candid words from a misogynist man.

One thought. Passionate minds have always encountered great opposition. Don’t expect everyone to understand. “He looked at her the way all girls wanted to be looked at.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald. Yes.… To be objectified by the right person, for the right reasons, in the right way, is a blessing. 

Leave a comment, share your thoughts. Lets chop it up!

A certain percentage of women prefer kissing over sex. But the old saying goes “It’s all downhill after the first kiss.” That built up tension like a silent storm brewing. A chemistry surmounting to detonate once and for all into a lip-lock pinnacle frozen in time. Never to be equated. Or can it? Well I say never stop trying.

Pull the body close Peer into the eyes

Peek at the lips and back at the eyes

 Faint aroma of body fragrance, all senses heightened

An ecstatic nervous fervor grips as muscles tighten

 

Sex brain engaged eyes dilated you taunt your raspberry target

Pause briefly as you feel the sensation of warm inviting breath

Moisten your beak with a quick swipe

 

Glide in, Slight tilt of the head

Facial scope matched like puzzle pieces

Commencing tenderly, moderately pressed upon plump peaches

 

Slow deliberate exchanges reaffirm affection

Take your time and sample your lover’s essence

 So Soft and supple as jubilant electrodes explode off the lip’s tip

They tingle on you playfully and you hold back from a nip

 

Slips of your succulent wand flow over the rim’s contour like afternoon breezes across rolling hills

you can only surrender to this spell binding thrill

 Flush from the rush they swell and pout

Teaseful Tongue pats greet each other while you nibble about

 

Gauge your partners delight with each intuitive movement of this non verbal conversation

Match the energy submit to the flow using telepathic communication

 The pace surmounts becoming intoxicated on each others mouthpiece

Harder to hold back now you open further in a state of reception

 Resembling a tango you grapple this bubblegum limb

Arousal and desire take the lead, now you’re really in

 Passion built head tucked a slight suck then release

Adrenaline running and a soothing calm of tantric peace

 

Not missing a morsel feasting on your mate’s pomegranate treat

Oblivious to the surroundings lost in the moment

Reluctant to pull chops apart as you drink in your last helping of exhilaration

You just had a stirring kiss and it was better than imagination

 

“If you want an extraordinary sex life, entertain extra ordinary thoughts.” –RJC

“Accept who you are; and revel in it.” ― Mitch Albom

 One afternoon during a browse of online dating articles I stumbled on an interesting enlightenment and confirmation. The would-be tag line of the article read;

“Sexual complaints are common within our culture, however they present differently in men and women. Men complain more about function and women complain more about desire.” -Juliet K. Mavromatis, MD http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/02/lack-sexual-interest-common-sexual-complaint-women.htm

The alarming evidence excitedly made me ponder to what degree I could remedy. Inspiration had struck!

Today we’re going to unleash the ‘sex god’ within you. It’s fun, but it’s not a game. Commencing right now, this second. With no fancy gadgets or made-up gimmicks. We are going to do it using the number 1 sex tool on the planet! Your psyche, that’s right your Sex Brain! I just ask one favor; PLEASE PLEASE for pete’s sake toss out that old rusty dusty sex paradigm you’ve been stuck in. You know what I’m talking about. Those preconceived notions about sex you’ve held onto since the beginning never really serving you well. Only acting as growth barriers trapping you into mediocrity and putting your lover’s to sleep from boredom. ZZzzzzzz! Lol.

The genius Einstein said “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” That speaks volumes here. When mind blowing sex is birthed, it was conceived at sex brain. It’s the residence of clairvoyant creation where all preparations are made for future fruition. Like a salivated palate before the taste, the mysterious brilliance lies within vivid imaginative eroticism; a foundation designed by you the architect. A habitual contemplation, capable of leaving you feeling its affects long after the cerebral musing has passed. A condition of elated illustrious anticipation, a.k.a. Marination.

Much more than some juvenile hyperactive ‘horn dog’ state. This is control of your psyche. Abiding in your mental picture long before tongue and flesh meet, before heated torsos are pressed together, It harbors its plot with the potency of a mischievous expert. It is more than a glorified ‘dirty mind’. Put it this way if a ‘dirty mind’ is for novices, sex brain is for professionals. A ‘perv’ with a smut appetite may temporarily get quick “jollies” from a heated genital area, but sex brain will have your whole body aglow. You are a junior creator. Use of your constructive ingenious mind can cause an aura flow to surround your sex energy. Management of it is to your benefit, yielding it only at will is your mastery. You’ll know ‘what’ you’re doing, ‘why’ you’re doing it, and ‘how’ to do it.

“We are programmed to do so,” sex therapist Richard A. Carroll, associate NorthwesternUniversity psychiatry and behavioral sciences professor says. “Asking why people have sex is akin to asking why we eat. Our brains are designed to motivate us toward that behavior.”  -Kelli Miller, http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/why-people-have-sex.

It’s a pattern of thought, a philosophy if you will. To be used by responsible adults. Anyone can be horny, but sex brain fastens its roots and development in a healthy self-esteem, confidence, intelligence and Passion. You can dream while you are wide awake. It is empowerment to a healthy libido. Humans are robust sexual beings that think about sex more than we admit to. Except who are we kidding, there’s no sweeping that under the rug. Encourage it! Guide that into an expressive nature in your relationship.

We’re talking about admittance with no apologies. It is sustained by an abysmal ownership of your sexuality. Regardless of age it can refortify the kundalini, the sexual nature you are born with, your natural sexual gift. And it fuels your longevity. Instead of depending upon some external source to generate your interest in intimacy, use your own self-initiation power. It’s there! It’s always there! At times you just need to quiet down your spirit and listen to it. Don’t let your aptitude depend solely upon your hormonal levels. Be intentionally cognitive of your own spirit.

“The autonomic part of the peripheral system regulates many functions…but which can be brought under conscious control through bio-feedback and yoga techniques. The sympathetic aspect of the autonomic system generally comes into play when we experience strong emotions, while the parasympathetic system tends to be active when we are calm and relaxed.” – Jeffrey Mishlove, PhD, ‘The Roots of Consciousness’ http://www.williamjames.com/Theory/BIOLOGY.htm

Sex brain utilizes the mystic ‘sixth sense’ on a dreamscape. Practice makes perfect, the more you use it, the stronger and more lucid they will become until it appears to you as plain as day HD 3D. you can taste, smell and feel as if you are already there. A trance-like zone can give you chills and goose bumps when you’re doing it right. When you can sedate yourself like codeine with just a thought. You’re starting to master it. If you wonder about the fantasy being better than the real thing; well then there’s your goal; put yourself in that same state of mind when it’s game time. Don’t’ break character, Stay in touch with your alter-ego and you’ll have nothing to worry about. Keep your body lively, keep your mind right. “The emotion of sex contains the secret of creative ability… [It] is an irresistible force…When driven by this emotion; men become gifted with a super power for action.” -Napoleon Hill, “Think and Grow Rich”. One can increase their sexual functioning, desire, or prowess just by psychologically summoning it. Just by wanting to. Little wonder why people that propel themselves to greatness usually have a lot of sex appeal and vibrance.

So size your opponent up! Yes I said it! Size them up. Observe every inch of their specimen. Check them out! The legs, hips, chest, glutes, neck, shoulders. How would you engage? Use your intuition. Where would you touch and how would you touch it? Picture yourself giving it a caress, and a rub down, tasting it, no, savoring it. Are you the kind to trounce upon full bite like a wild cat? Or would you steadily glide upon like a boa constrictor strong grip squeezing? Massage ideas like these. Sex brain is the method to the madness. You better start having answers to these questions if you plan to stand out. I’ll tell you a secret. Actually I’ll give you two secrets. Every person on planet earth thinks their ‘stuff’ is the best on earth. Yep! Better than anybody else’. And the second secret is. A few people actually are. On women it’s called the ‘good good’ on men it’s called the ‘act right’. The goal is to actually be one of those rare lovers. To be immortaled, irreplaceable in the mind of your Love. You wanna be owner of their heart and their lusts that you earned deservedly so. Cus you took it with your killer instinct!

Arranging the scene is not silly and Consistent performance is not an accident. You got visions, build them! You’re the commander and Chief of your sex life. Don’t let if fall apart on your watch. Your lover’s moans should sound like the sweetest music. So flick the switch and welcome to the other side.

What are your thoughts? Leave a comment. Lets chop it up!

 Inspired Songs

Intuition – Jamie Foxx

Read your mind – Avant

112- U already Know

The Weekend – Life of the Party

Talk that talk – Rihanna

Made to love – John Legend

Role Play – Trey Songz

Best I ever had – Drake